Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
