Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize