We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
