I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
