just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
