its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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