Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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