Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize