these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Enjoy the penises
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
