This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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