You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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