I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
