Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
