All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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