1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
