Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize