He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
