She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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