oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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