Apparently you make a good broom.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We need a shit load of segways right now
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
