I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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