Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
