I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize