We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
