dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
We're too hungover to prance.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
