So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize