There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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