The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
