I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
