im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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