david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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