Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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