Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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