All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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