And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
