Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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