Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
