i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize