Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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