He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
