yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
