For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
wow bdsm is so cute
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
