walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
