Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
