I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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