I am in a vortex of obligation.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
