The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
