dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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