I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
