Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
