they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
