But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Dicks are not precious.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
