dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
