My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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