If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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