He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
