Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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