Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
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So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
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I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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