im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
