i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
