he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
