That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
