My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize