You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
