At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize